Ego and Leadership

Ego and Leadership

Such a small word and such a big deal. Ego starts forming around 12th-18th month of our existence and doesn’t complete until we are around 29 years of age. A lot of desperate, indiscriminate grasping comes into forming of who we think we are. It’s necessary at first – our survival strategies form it, we learn early to smile, cry or be quiet, to be mobile or still, entertain or be entertained. The eager ears of a toddler thrive on what the carers say, and toddlers believe – Wow: I am shy, I am assertive, I am clever, I am small, I can do anything, I am too slow, I will never do that, I cannot … - hypnotically we take it all on.

And then we live through confirmation bias of those stories and our pantomime strengthens at work and at home. 

It’s scary to let go of all those years of being right about who we are. Will I disappear in a puff of smoke? And yet, if you won’t let go you won’t know what you are actually made of and capable of. The most self-empowering act is to stand fully in a possibility of what you can become moment after moment and dance with the emergent future. 

Leaders who are unpeeling the ego onion have an ease around them. They don’t have to guess, assume, have answers, they ask clarifying questions, they are able to contract and re-contract every interaction. They clearly state intentions, feel genuine, they can elevate themselves to be process focused rather than argue the hell out of the content, they add value to the lives they touch. Would you like to have a go? … I will share my layers too.