Beyond Unreconcilable Differences: Turning Conflict into Partnership
Different functions. Same pattern. Unreconcilable difference…divorce in the making.
“I hate those guys in Business Development.” So said a Risk Leader.
Strong words. Real frustration.
“Seriously, they always attack, never listen, and expose all of us. I am trying to hold my breath and respond more calmly. But they, they, they... I’m told I am supposed to be more assertive, more persuasive. How can I influence more effectively when I feel tense, backed against the wall?”
I hear similar tension between Marketing and Finance. Operations and Sales. Strategy and Execution. Different functions. Same pattern. Unreconcilable difference…divorce in the making.
Here’s the reframe I offered: gratitude and generative dialogue.
“What if you thanked them for the cases they bring to the Risk Committee?” Shock. Gasp. Horror. “That’s difficult to swallow.”
And yet - if it weren’t for the challenging work of Business Development and Sales, we wouldn’t be here. The organisation wouldn’t exist. Neither would the Risk function. Nor the careers, nor the opportunities. At the end of the day, it is thanks to them that you enjoy the lifestyle you have. Hmmm…
Mature leaders are not preoccupied with being right. They don’t fuse their identity with the opinion on the table. They pause. They thank the ‘seeming’ opponent for raising a challenging issue or a difficult question, then engage with neutral curiosity to explore a path forward.
When we are righteous, we can only attack or defend. When we are grateful, we create. Gratitude softens the edges. It opens space for creativity, better questions, and better decisions.
It takes awareness. Presence. Practice. Yet it’s learnable. Enjoyable. And its impact can be profound.
This doesn’t mean avoiding tough conversations. It means entering them differently.
If you’re living through functional friction right now, try this:
👉 Pause.
👉 Acknowledge the value the other side brings.
👉 Then explore the issue together.
I invite you to have a go - and if you’d like support navigating these tensions, I’m here with a helping hand.