I have been called many things.

Chatterbox. Shy. Ugly. Nerd.
Crazy. Egoist. Courageous.
Leader. Inspirational. Wise.
Bitch. Unlovable. Plump.
Role model. Guru.
Heretic. Beautiful. Ordinary.

For years, I collected these names - like wounds or trophies, depending on the day.

Then something shifted….

I stopped asking:
“Why do people see me this way?”

And started asking:
“What might I be projecting that they’re reflecting back?”

That's the brutal way deep coaching cracks things open. Because the truth is:

You don't get the identity you want.

You live from the identity that’s running you.

Beneath every label others put on you is a pattern. A belief system quietly authoring how you show up - long before you consciously choose it. The reactive identities - the ones built on fear, proving, protecting - don’t disappear. They just go underground. And they keep projecting. Loudly.

The shift isn’t about becoming someone else.

It's about finally recognising who you've been being - and choosing, with full awareness, who you want to be.

Not the role.
Not the mask.
Not the collection of opinions and names others placed on you.

You.

Looking back, I can see how - in different moments - I was projecting all those identities. Every single one of them. So people made the match with what I was putting out.

The question that changed everything wasn’t:
“Who am I?”

It was:
“Who would I love to be?”

Seriously. Stop. Take a moment. Here's my question for you: What identity are you living out right now?